We asked Abbi to tell us a little bit about herself and why she has decided to skydive from a plane for charity to help others with eating disorders, this is what she said.
At the age of 13 I was diagnosed with an eating disorder I was like a complete skeleton I could feel my bones rubbing against clothes, bruising everywhere on my body and would experience black outs and feel so weak I could not get out of bed, I was rushed into hospital where the doctors told my parents I may not make it through the night.
This is a flash of reality! Negative words from others and constant negativity can drive a once confident happy individual to feel that low in their self they nearly lose their own life trying to make themselves better for others. However I did pull through the night, I was impatient for 6 months where I received a lot of support and help with learning how to recover properly.
Before being diagnosed I went through a lot of friendship issues and also confidence issues such as stress depression and anxiety, I would feel That low in myself some days it made me want to never wake up rather than have to battle with my own mind. The people I called my friends made me feel worthless and like I was the odd one out, I was bullied for my hair colour, and the way I spoke because I had a lisp, and also the way I looked, because I’m going to be honest I wasn’t the most fashionable at school and never wore make-up like my friends did. I was made to feel different like no-one liked me and that I never belonged.
Abbi skydives to BEAT eating disorders in
I have suffered with and eating disorder for the last five years, everyone says to me ‘why can’t you just eat ?’
Let me tell you living with an eating disorder it the most painful and dreadful experience anyone can have. The answer to people questions “why can’t you just eat” is that battling this illness causes your own mind to become louder and more powerful than your own voice, you can be sat at the table really looking forward to the food coming out but when its laid out on the table in front of you the voice in your mind constantly screams at you to the point your body goes into complete shut down, you start trembling with fear as the anxiety kicks in, you constantly try to calculate the calories on the plate. You start to hallucinate seeing a ridiculously large portions in front of you when really it’s a normal portion but your mind tells you different, it’s the feeling of your whole throat disconnecting it-self and not working not being able to swallow the food because your mind tells you it will make you fat, it’s the constant battle with your own thoughts to the point you cry over having to eat now you tell me do you think you could just eat.
However anorexia is not just about the eating to some people like myself it’s a way of controlling emotions, it’s my way of controlling the emotions because I have no control of the way people made me feel and the way people judge me and label me but by having control of my weight gave me the little feeling that I success at something.
In the modern world now it’s sad to see that bullying is allowed to take place not only in schools but in the work place, I think it is absolutely disgusting how people allow this to happen this is why more awareness needs to be made to enable more services to be set up to help the people who are scared to seek the help themselves. People are targeted because of hair colours, vulnerability, weaker personalities, race, sexuality, based on appearance and even for the way they speak more awareness needs to be made to come up with new ways of stopping this bullying behaviours to people who are classed as different because let’s be honest no-ones perfect! I mean what is PERFECT. Everyone is perfect in their own unique way.
SPONSOR ABBI & DONATE TODAY
Abbi is going to defeat her fear of jumping out of planes and do a sponsored skydive on Thursday the 17th of March.
Even if you can’t give, please share this page so someone else can be given the chance to help in Abbi and BEAT‘s battle against eating disorders.